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Literature Text
Shade of whimsical moons from heavens descend,
Wistfully conjure visions of old.
Mists of melancholy past clench the burdened air,
Cast emotion through the rivers of shame.
Fiery visions exude the broken glass,
Seeking answers to questions unasked.
Encumbrance adrift inside a lonely time,
Fearing the truth lost in a lie.
Invoking ancient and forgotten wisdom,
Finding secrets mislaid in time.
Shattered friendship upon empty ground,
Mended through the moments of a simple life.
Wishfully scrying in the coveted flames,
Consuming rays of vivid light.
Impressing hope into an earthly soul,
Corporeal only in a moonlit pale sky.
Wistfully conjure visions of old.
Mists of melancholy past clench the burdened air,
Cast emotion through the rivers of shame.
Fiery visions exude the broken glass,
Seeking answers to questions unasked.
Encumbrance adrift inside a lonely time,
Fearing the truth lost in a lie.
Invoking ancient and forgotten wisdom,
Finding secrets mislaid in time.
Shattered friendship upon empty ground,
Mended through the moments of a simple life.
Wishfully scrying in the coveted flames,
Consuming rays of vivid light.
Impressing hope into an earthly soul,
Corporeal only in a moonlit pale sky.
A poem of intense emotion that is felt during rituals. I feel that rituals and meditations really inspire my poetry and bring out it true potential. I hope that you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. Please tell me if you like it or dont like it. I really want some input.
Extra info: A poem written for and to one of my truest friends. Hope you like bro!
*Celtic also learned some new vocab
*
Extra info: A poem written for and to one of my truest friends. Hope you like bro!
*Celtic also learned some new vocab
* © 2005 - 2024 BaisteachCeilteach
Comments2
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Wow, this is great! You use such colorful vocabulary. 
I think you should expand on the idea, though. Your poem seems sort of condensed. I'm not saying you should water it down, just give more on the things you've listed: visions, questions, friendship, etc. Of course, once again, this poem is very well-worded so if you want to leave most of the message up to the reader this poem certainly makes us think.
When you mentioned the "river of shame" I don't think it was a good idea to say emotions went through it. Perhaps you though about the shameful things you had done. Shame's an emotion, maybe more shame was added to it. You don't specify.
I don't understand where you got do broken glass. You start with a body of water, then glass, then fire. I think it would be easier to understand if you stayed with one analogy. I mean, bring up the moon and night more often. I think you were going for a nighttime theme but you loose it in the middle stanzas.
If you choise not to follow any of my suggestions (they are only my opinions). I'd be completely fine with it as is. You have a great piece here that could stand by itself with out change.
I think you should expand on the idea, though. Your poem seems sort of condensed. I'm not saying you should water it down, just give more on the things you've listed: visions, questions, friendship, etc. Of course, once again, this poem is very well-worded so if you want to leave most of the message up to the reader this poem certainly makes us think.
When you mentioned the "river of shame" I don't think it was a good idea to say emotions went through it. Perhaps you though about the shameful things you had done. Shame's an emotion, maybe more shame was added to it. You don't specify.
I don't understand where you got do broken glass. You start with a body of water, then glass, then fire. I think it would be easier to understand if you stayed with one analogy. I mean, bring up the moon and night more often. I think you were going for a nighttime theme but you loose it in the middle stanzas.
If you choise not to follow any of my suggestions (they are only my opinions). I'd be completely fine with it as is. You have a great piece here that could stand by itself with out change.